Cat Scratch Fever

OH...MY... GOSH!!!

I promise I'm not embellishing this story [much]!

So we went out for a lovely family night tonight. First, we went to Subway to eat. Next, it was off to Golden Spoon for some frozen yogurt. (Complete with Easter sprinkles.) Finally, we hit the Kohl's sale for some cute Easter dresses; we even got a 30% off coupon! Everyone found outfits that they loved and were pleased as punch.

On the way home, we were chatting about the girls' clothes, when the radio told us to be caller 25 to win advance screening tickets to the Hannah Montana movie. Ashley and I insisted that everyone dial repeatedly to try to win the tickets. So we're calling, and calling, and calling. I keep driving and driving until Dave can't stand our silliness anymore and tells me to go home. (He was still dialing, however!)

So we're sitting in the car in our driveway...calling the radio station still.

Dave gets out of the car and says he's done...

Ashley starts getting out of the car....

Morgan and I are still sitting and dialing, and dialing, and dialing.

Ashley screams, "MORGAN! CAT!"

The next thing I know, everyone is screaming and running around in total pandemonium.

I'm still calling.

I start wondering what the heck is wrong with everyone. Dave screams at me, "Gretchen! There's a cat in the car."

I'm thinkin', "Huh?"

I keep dialing.

All of a sudden, I'm thinking, "That's a weird thing to say. I wonder what he means." (We don't own any pets, and all of us despise cats. *Sorry* Don't even make me tell you about the kitties in my crib! LOL!)

So I turn around...and there's a freakin' cat in my backseat!!

So I join the screaming meanies, which means that every female in the Brown family is running around the cul-de-sac screaming! (I called two more times.)

I look back at my car, and the darn cat is sitting on top of my seat looking at all of us, mocking us!!

We all screamed to our fearless leader to go get the cat out of the car. Dave heads over there and starts to yell "Shoo!" in his meanest dog-voice. The thing is looking at him like, "Bring it on, old man!"

Dave then decides that banging on windows is the best course of action. We decide that shrieking freakishly will help! Dave starts banging on my window, and the things keeps sitting there. Ashley notices that she's been scratched and starts yelling that the cat scratched her. Morgan breaks into a chorus of "Is she gonna die? Is she gonna die?"

Finally, the cat must've realized that this is way too much, and jumps out of the car...

...and starts chasing us around the cul-de-sac!!! (Okay, so maybe it wasn't chasing us. Maybe it was following us trying to play. It was uber-creepy, whatever it wanted!)

About this time, I decided it must be rabid, confused, disoriented, and completely deranged. I start screaming at Dave to get the rabid beast before it gets us.

Sorry, cat-lovers. My brave, heroic husband, picked up some pebbles...

aimed...

launched...

Missed!!

(Okay, he wasn't really trying to hit it, just scare it!)

The cat skeetered off just long enough for us to head towards the house, still screaming.

But then...it started running towards the house. Morgan starts getting hysterical again as I'm screaming at her to run. (I'm in the house, ready to shut the door if it tries to come in.)

When we get inside, I start freaking out that it sprayed my car. Dave says he'll go check. Morgan beat him to the door and threw herself across the door so he couldn't get out. I told him to stay in.

We then started the business of cleaning Ashley's scratches. (And searching the internet to see if she's going to survive. Apparently "cat scratch fever" is really a disease, and not just a song from the '80's!) While Dave poured the hydrogen peroxide, Morgan sprayed the Neosporin spray, and I called Uncle Matt. He assured us that she'll likely survive, and that he's only a phone call away. (Thanks, Matt!!! ♥)

Being highly-allergic to cats, Ashley started getting itchy, so she went and soaked in a tub. It seriously scared her to death...and there are three bears in my bed tonight.

I forgot to mention that Dave likes to use cats for target practice with his air-soft pistol. They only thought it was war before.

What now pussy-cat???